Thursday, November 13, 2014

Binary Bashing

"Don't decoy, avoid, or make void the topic, 'cause that aint' gonna stop it." 

Binary Bashing
           Sex is a complex concept within the human experience, or at least, that is the way in which sex has been presented to the masses in our modern society. It is a taboo subject, yet references to sex are plentiful in advertisements and other media; it is a necessary aspect of human life, though religions throughout time have instigated an assertive domination of sexuality. Now, people are often confused, ashamed and even frightened by the idea of having a sexual experience.
            Furthermore, modern society exhibits complications such as gender roles, otherwise known as gender scripts. This is the idea that the guy must "get" the girl; Wooing must occur from the man, and thereby the woman is the wooed. With these being the governing dynamics of our sexual interactions in society, it is easy to see how rape culture has the opportunity to thrive. Consider how men are often encouraged to be the "doers" in society; whether its playing football, running a company, or flying a jet. Women, in turn, receive a primary cultural emphasis of "being" beautiful, and only then are they encouraged  to perform an act such as cheer leading,  being a secretary, or working as a flight attendant. 
             What's the social script? The confident assertive man asks the beauftiful woman out on a date, the man is then expected to be the first to make the move for physical intimacy. With this script, the woman is by default submissive, and the man dominant. Add alcohol and a party environment to this script, and one can easily see how flirting can turn to rape. By no means am I justifying the horrendous acts of males in such a scenario, I do, however, wish to emphasize the importance of eradicating a system which produces such ideologies. "Boys will be boys" "Bros before Hoes" "Our father who art in heaven", there is strong reason to believe that men are encouraged to see their manliness and a sense of brotherhood as being far more significant than any relationship with a female or a sense of sisterhood. Similarly, women are encouraged to see their relationship with a man as being their ultimate achievement; Marriage, house-keeping and child rearing are thereby the supposed fruits of her achievement.
             So where does this come from? Yes, our parents did teach us much about these gender roles by example, and of course the education and religious institutions have muddied the water ever further. But the core of this issue lies deeper than the Abrahamic patriarchal religions (Christianity, Islam, Judaism), or any other kind of archetypes that our parents may have presented to us as children. In truth, these experiences are what we make them; the Abrahamic religions do not have to keep their patriarchal roots, and individuals have the ability to choose their own way of being based on their own set of beliefs and personal ideologies. These social scripts and gender roles are all simply ideas, and like a radio station that one no longer wishes to listen to, one may simply tune them out by no longer contributing to these ideologies. We can each bring about social change within ourselves in our own way, at our own pace. We have this ability, as we are each unique free thinking individuals. 

1 comment:

  1. GOOD ONE!
    I was recently criticized because my 10 year old son knows all about human reproduction and a lot about sexuality. I answer all his questions honestly and sex is not considered "dirty" at our house. Just another part of this beautiful life.

    Although the Abrahamic religions do perpetuate and in some cases legislate misogyny, I do not think this is the root of the classic male/female roles of our species. All the other great apes (gorillas, chimpanzees and bonobos) are patriarchal so there is no reason to think that on base level we wouldn't be.

    Call me sexist but (I'm speaking generally here...) the males of our species do tend to be stronger and more aggressive; The females, more nurturing and passive. I do not think for one instant that either gender is superior. It is a blend of traits that has made us a very successful species.

    What I find beautiful though is the wonderful people in my life that defy these generalities. The soft spoken gentle men; My gender conflicted musician friend who even though she is a man inside will make you cry when she sings "Jolene". I guess heartbreak is heartbreak. The beauty goes beyond these individuals to the loving friends they have who accept them as they are. In these circles the social change is alive and contagious. Like the first couple to hit the dance floor early in the evening. With time and the right groove the floor gets crowded.
    The joy spreads.
    We evolve.